And at the End of the Day...

MAJOR improvement in health over yesterday! Man being sick here is not fun at all. It really made me think of being little and laying on the couch and Mom making cinnamon toast (that was our special food that we only got to have when we were sick). Not like I could have stomached cinnamon toast anyway haha but it was more just the idea of being comfy in my home with someone to beckon at my every call. Although Cristina and Maggie did take wonderful care of me (thank you!!!!). So today I was able to shower and put on my new Nepali dress that Cristina picked up from the tailor for me! Very exciting. I made my way downstairs, and Maggie goes "Oh my gosh! You look SO Nepalese!!!!" Which I think is a bit of stretch hahaha but I know what she meant and I took it as a nice compliment. And I must say I felt very loved as I made my appearance and the kids were excited to see me. The women staff got a kick out of my dress too :) I was so happy to be downstairs but I think I outdid myself a tad. It was tiffin time (which is what they call the lunch break during the school day) and I went outside with some of the kids. Cristina, Hannah, and some of the boys visiting from India were painting the new mural on the front gate, and it looks GREAT! Then I went back in to eat something that actually was not crackers, and to my delight there were green beans for lunch today! Cristina and I LOVE the green beans. They are so delicious. So I had some green beans, rice, and of course daal baht.

Rice and daal baht are staple foods here. Meaning they are served every single day at lunch and dinner. Lisa has made up a nice little song that goes "You may think it's something different but it's not, you're having daal baht!" Daal baht is like a broth with lentils and beans and of course other yummy spices, and I enjoy it thoroughly. We also have potatoes every day which are equally tasty. There are usually some sliced tomatoes and onions, and sometimes some greens. A lot of times there is also roti, which is the Nepali word for tortilla. And if it's your lucky day like today, green beans. They must have known I was making my grand reappearance hahaha.

Oh and I lied to you! We do not have daal every single day! On Fridays we have chow mein! Which reminds me, I can't wait for tomorrow. A half day of school AND chow mein?! Who could ask for more? Then Saturday is meat day. We have all the staples but there is some form of goat or chicken, which I do not partake in. Last Friday they killed and ate our chickens which I did not realize until the next day when Frank pointed out that our chickens were gone. Our goat has so far been spared....I don't think it's big enough yet. And in Nepal they do not eat cow because they receive milk from it and so it is regarded as a mother figure and godlike. It's actually illegal here to kill or eat a cow. Likewise, they do not milk their goats because they use them for meat. Interesting, huh?

So anyway, I had to hand off half of my lunch to Cristina because I couldn't finish it all. I wasn't feeling very good so I made my way back upstairs to my bed where I found myself huffing and puffing just from walking up the steps. These ameoba (which we have determined is what I had from the water) really kicked my butt. I feel tons better, but I feel very weak still whenever I'm not just lying down. It's really a bummer.....I want to get up and start being helpful again!!! I miss playing with the kiddies!

Last night I was laying in bed (surprise!) and I was so annoyed and agitated and frustrated and feeling fed up. I was uncomfortable and sweaty and I couldn't sleep because I had rested all day long, and I was watching all these tiny bugs that are small enough to fit through the mosquito net crawl in and land on my sheet. Then in the middle of my self pity I thought, "Are you SERIOUS?" I'm laying in a bed. I'm in a home. I have water and a pillow and people taking care of me. And I'm pissed because my fan just went off??? There are a countless number of people here, literally outside of my door, with nothing. They're not even a world away any more. They are not out of sight and thus out of mind. I see them. I see them almost every day. I pass their mud huts. I am perfectly aware of how people here are living and I'm still bitching? Wow, Kelly. Some people have entire families in a house made literally of mud and sticks with a tin roof and no floor that is no bigger than the room I am sitting in now. Forget about running water. Forget about a regular supply of food. Forget about medical care. Forget about every little thing that lets us live comfortably. Whenever I pass these little huts I see women out front with their babies and all I can think about is, Oh my gosh...they sat in that hut and gave birth in there. I can't even imagine. One of the women on the staff here had four of her five children completely alone in her hut. She had a few other women with her for the first baby, but she didn't like it so she opted to be by herself for the rest. She is an incredible woman.

So then I sat there for a while feeling guilty and then I felt fortunate and then I just didn't know what to feel. I ignored the bugs and the lack of fan and I was grateful to be in a bed and I found some inner peace. I'm happy I'm here. It's a funny feeling being sad and happy at the same time but it happens to me a lot. I guess I just had a lot of time to think being in my room for a couple days. I wish I could end with some grand and wise statement, but I haven't found that yet. Who knows if I ever will. But I'm learning little by little and I like to think I'm better off than I was before.

The gong for dinner just rang so this is all for now.

I'm sending love!!! Can you feel it??!!!